Your Red Sock

11 Aug

This morning when I awoke

the first thing I set eyes on

was your red sock.

The free airline sock

you dried your eyes on

(not having a handkerchief on the plane)

the first time we parted.

 

You mailed it to me afterwards

as a memento,

and sometimes I smell it

hoping to catch some lingering trace

of your deep soul in the tears

soaked into it.

 

Now your head/your heart/your God

tells you what we have is wrong

and I will have you never;

nothing more of you than

this little red sock,

forever.

 

I could use it myself now

to dry my own tears,

but my pride tells me

that would be absurd.

 

This is a draft version, which I might tighten up and change at some point. I wrote it in March this year after I was dumped by a girl I had been having a transatlantic relationship with. I guess it is just one of those lost love poems that get written by a lot of people –  there is no experience like lost love to inspire poetic musings! I have since got back with the girl though (hurrah! In fact I am in America with her now) so perhaps I will write a cheerful ‘love regained’ one at some point.

All comments appreciated, especially as I’m looking to rework this one a little.

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7 Responses to “Your Red Sock”

  1. Deborah Thomas August 27, 2009 at 3:56 pm #

    hey Will,
    i like the story line of this … while i read it i can’t help but see it be the plot of a music video.
    (it’d b great if u sang too :P) lol

  2. ocksblog August 27, 2009 at 4:06 pm #

    thanks Deborah, and thanks for commenting

    Oh, if only I could sing! 😉

  3. ejalvey February 25, 2010 at 4:26 am #

    I like this.

    I am curious–why do you write the explanations along with the poetry?

    I find it detracts a bit, but perhaps you are wanting feedback, or commentary based on your perceptions?

    If I may, you might give yourself more credit: that you are conveying what you are feeling, and skip this in the future. Or, post in a comment after your poetry since it detracts from your writing to include it.

    Just my 2 cents.

    • ocksblog February 25, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

      ooh, very valid point you have made here, and I’m not even sure if I can answer your question, as it’s something I’m undecided on myself!
      I agree that poetry should speak for itself – that’s the whole point of it really, to condense something into fewer words and to make it more intense and enigmatic in the doing so. Because of this I know what you mean about the commentaries detracting, but at the same time I quite like doing them – I have always enjoyed writing letters, and they are similar in form and style, so they are enjoyable to write, and give me a chance to waffle a little about my thoughts.
      Maybe I’ll try and separate them from my poem posts. I’m not sure, I’ll see how things develop. Actually there’s lots to say on this, for example TS Eliot said something about the best poetry being self-effacing, with nothing traceable of the author in the poem (I’m probably misquoting, but that’s the gist) and I agree to an extent – better poetry goes beyond self-centred emotional monologue, and so my explanations if anything serve to weaken the poems themselves – but at the same time the blog as a platform seems to call for some more of ‘me’!

      Ah, just some of my thoughts in return. Thanks for the feedback, it has definitely given me some food for thought, and is much appreciated

  4. ejalvey February 25, 2010 at 10:30 pm #

    Certainly.

    You could do a different page on your blog for such commentary…

    It can be useful to discuss, for sure.

    • ocksblog February 28, 2010 at 12:37 pm #

      yes I might think about how to reorganise things a little, the blog could do with a bit more work on layout, pages etc anyway, a project for this week I think!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. A love poem *cringe* ;) « Ocksblog - November 4, 2009

    […] wrote this poem a few months ago for my American girl (cf: Your Red Sock, Siren Call). We are no longer together. Really it would increase the appeal of this blog (such as […]

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