Reminder

26 Mar

 

I found the hair,

(I am sure it was yours)

in the footwell of my car

as I rummaged for sandwiches at lunchtime.

It must have been there for months.

 

Drawing it forth slowly; long, black,

a slight reddishness –

your Irish quarter, you once joked –

I stared at it a minute or two.

Pausing.

 

Lapsing into a sudden daydream –

and you were there,

with me in the car

as if real.

 

I reached out and put an arm around your waist

(in my mind of course)

as I looked into your face

a moment or two.

 

And then I awoke

to reality and drab peanut butter sandwiches.

But I left the hair in a rear footwell,

Ready to be discovered again, sometime.

 

 

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13 Responses to “Reminder”

  1. hootoo22 March 27, 2010 at 4:29 pm #

    Pleasant. I like how the poem draws itself together. I’d ditch the ‘sometime’ at the end – it detracts from the overall rhythm.

    Max.

  2. ocksblog March 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm #

    thanks Max
    🙂

  3. moondustwriter April 9, 2010 at 11:18 am #

    Love the lapse into a sudden daydream
    nicely written poem
    and thanks for visiting moondustwriter.com
    an honor to have you there

    • ocksblog April 12, 2010 at 11:18 am #

      thanks, I enjoyed reading your work!

  4. PhilOdyssey April 19, 2010 at 6:24 am #

    I like this part:

    I reached out and put an arm around your waist
    (in my mind of course)
    as I looked into your face
    a moment or two.

    Keep it up.

    • ocksblog April 19, 2010 at 8:03 am #

      thanks for the comment 🙂

  5. Zucker July 3, 2010 at 6:51 pm #

    great displacement of time and feeling.
    very nice, thank you.

    artifactmagazine.org

    • ocksblog July 4, 2010 at 12:08 am #

      cheers,
      thanks for reading and a big thanks for the feedback

  6. Jerry Pat Bolton August 24, 2010 at 9:21 pm #

    I love the last line. The lines preceding it isn’t bad either. Amazing things drift through our thoughts at the strangest times. Good writing.

    • ocksblog August 30, 2010 at 5:15 am #

      cheers, thanks for reading

      My first comment in a long time – reminds me I should write some more poetry really!

  7. soopahvi September 3, 2010 at 8:16 pm #

    well! i looked this one up cause it got the most comments. did not disappoint. charming in a simple way. 🙂

    • ocksblog September 6, 2010 at 10:12 am #

      thanks for reading and commenting!

  8. Layla Torres Bool March 10, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

    nostalgic.

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