Late Summer

2 Sep

I saw a thousand butterflies
White above a field
Clumsily they fluttered by
Tacking against the breeze

I saw a standing pony there
Lonely in that field
Wind ruffling its tail and hair
To and fro with the trees

I saw the berries on the thorn
Red against the green
Humming tractors mowing corn
Signalled the season’s end.

I saw the clouds scud up above
As clouds are wont to do
Underneath them kites and doves
Flew in silhouette.

.

.
I just moved back to the village I grew up in, after several years living in metropolises. It is a lot quieter and there’s less energy around, but there is certainly a lot of natural beauty to enjoy. The countryside in north Buckinghamshire isn’t spectacular, and it doesn’t take your breath away, but it has an understated, soft, gentle beauty to it, which I was really feeling on this warm, end of summer evening.

The poem is unfinished – I’m still trying to figure out a reasonable final stanza to tie it together and invoke some feelings.

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2 Responses to “Late Summer”

  1. shaila September 5, 2013 at 8:44 pm #

    Hi! I actually definitely remember you (: (though it’s a struggle to keep up with blogs) and I still very much enjoy your poetry! I’m assuming this is the pastoral poem you were talking about and I really like the imagery it invokes in me. Obviously, you’re still working on it so you don’t have to take this advice (especially because I don’t know which direction you want to take it in) but I’m assuming moving from urban to rural leaves one conflicted and, if it’s a direction you’re interested in taking this poem, you should introduce some type of imagery that perhaps contrasts the tranquility and bucolic nature of what you’re writing to convey that struggle? If you’re interested in keeping it all pastoral, I’m sure you’ll find the perfect stanza to really tie up the feeling of serenity that I personally got when reading this.

    It will be wonderful whichever way and please contact me if you ever want feedback/a second eye! Hope things are well with you (:

    • ocksblog September 7, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

      Hello Shaila, thanks for reading and for the generous advice. 🙂

      Working out how to end something is hard sometimes!
      It feels like the ending needs to be at least as powerful as the rest of the poem, and hopefully stronger, as well as tie everything up and conclude the message.
      I’ll come back to this in a few weeks I reckon, that’s what I often do

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